And Easter is lame as hell. Whoever decided that Jesus needed to come back to life on one of my hungover days needs to get kicked in the junk.
That’s good! I’m really happy to here that. I want to best for you, you are my best friend after all. They’re going what? You can talk to me you know. No, not really. I think Lord Tubbington may have finally kicked his ecstasy addiction though!
.. Yeah, B, I know. I want the best for you, too. I don’t really think there’s much to talk about, though.. things just aren’t going the way I wanted them to, so I have to make a few changes. That’s all. Hey, good for him— I actually kinda miss that little fur ball sometimes. Is he still in that gang?
No, I don’t think so anyway. I don’t have on a jumpsuit with blue glowing lines or anything. I do however have pretzels and they’re yummy! Are you doing alright, San?
Well, that’s good. And I’m great, actually— trying to figure some stuff out right now, but things are going.. uh, well, they’re going. What about you? Anything new and exciting happening lately?
San! …are you stuck in the computer? Do I have to get Lord Tubbington and his gang to come rescue you?
Nah, Britt, I’m safe and sound in the comfort of my own room. Are you stuck in the computer? ‘Cause I can totally call and let Tubbs know if you need some help.
Santana, you should consider your life goals and your future. I just think you need an assessment. If you want, I’d be more than willing you help you as best as I can from New York.
I don’t know if all the therapists in New York have suddenly made you think that you’re qualified to lecture me or the fact that we’re kinda sorta friends now gives you the impression that I’m looking to you for help, but let me be the first to say that the last thing I need is an “assessment”. What the hell do you take me for, Berry? Some kind of booze addict?
You’re actually back in Lima? I figured that would be last place you’d want to be. As for the designated driver - can’t help you with that.
Well, you know how the saying goes— when in doubt, go back home and complain to your mother about the direction your life’s going in while getting drunk every night like an alcoholic going through a midlife crisis.
Right, because accusing me of not changing makes you any better. Look, I’m trying to make myself look better, but it’s hard when you’re overthrown and not given a chance.
I wasn’t the one drugging up the Warblers, so I’m positive that my level of threat has been downgraded.
Wait, do you think I actually care? Your saintly duties have absolutely nothing to do with me, so believe me— I’m not going to congratulate you on actually trying to be human.
Maybe.. I don’t know, organize a fashion show in my honor or whatever it is you do best, and we’ll talk.